Men’s Group Manual
How to Start and Maintain a Successful Men’s Group
In the hundred-thousand years of human existence before men were reduced to civilians in mega-cultures, we lived in traditional groups of 18 to 36 people. Within that group half were women and a third were children. The remaining six to twelve were men. They gathered in the Men’s Hut. It is in our genetic code to seek the hut, the place where we are free from our societal roles, where we can share our lives and be witnesses to our brothers. It is where our stories are told and where we find rest, support and kinship. Establishing or joining a Men’s Group can return you to the hut. It’s been many generations since most men have been there, hence the path to its re-establishment can be difficult. This manual has been designed as a map. Like any map, detours and deviations might be needed, but it will take you and your brothers back to a seat at the ancient circle of men.
If being part of a Men’s Group appeals to you, then you have found the right site to begin your quest. While I have tried to make the site comprehensive, you will also need the printed Men’s Group Manual to guide you through the process. I first attempted to put everything on this site but it became incomprehensible. So I decided that a manual was needed. Owning a copy of the manual will equip you to be part of the group. I have priced it close to printing cost, so that it is affordable. I wish you the best and let us know on Facebook what your group is doing.
“A man needs three kinds of human relationships. First and foremost he needs his family. The bond of parent, spouse and child is the center of happiness and our society recognizes this and has built institutional support for these relationships. Second he needs a network of 6 to 10 close friends that for lack of a better word I will call his “group,” -a group of men that he meets with frequently for support, advice and to share his life. While central to society for thousands of years, our current culture fails to back or even recognize this vital bond. The third is the larger communal context of society; these include participation in work, social networks, charity and professional organizations, churches, social and recreational clubs, political parties, sports attachments, national allegiance and all other groups larger than twelve. Participation in these are either supported or mandated by our culture.
If the small group is a vital aspect for a man’s happiness, why it is not supported within the context of contemporary society? Because being part of a band of pears, a small supportive group is so empowering that the individual become less susceptible to manipulation. Ego targeted advertising fails to hit the mark, fear driven political messages are dissected for content, and self-worth as measured by the accumulation of products and awards become invalid. In short, a man supported by his brothers stands free, able to chart his own course knowing that his value lies, not in his external image but, on the quality of self. Men free to express and employ their intellect; emotions, intuition and awareness without consequence become self-actualized. They are the movers of their own lives.”
While it is true that in proper relationship men sharpen their fellow men, just as with iron, in the wrong relationship both iron and men can dull and damage each other. If men slam, degrade, insult or coerce each other, then the result is a dulling of their souls, a kind of isolation, and an inability to be authentic around other men. Men are genetically structured to have the support of allies, of trusted kinship, but such support is often missing in a man’s life. We need each other to genuinely question our thinking and motives, to guide us on our path, to share and witness our lives. Yet today’s society is not structured for this possibility. We live in an economic and social systems so restrictive that men are no longer free to be men. Some men however have found a way to be both successful in the modern world and create a community of men where they can safely question themselves and each other. There they begin to understand the meaning of their masculinity, their place in world and who they want to be.
While it is possible to make friends from co-workers, it is difficult. Everyone at work is someone who supervises and evaluates you, you oversee and assess, or you vie with for promotions and salary. These assigned roles are barriers to revealing one’s authentic self. Many men say that during college or military service, where conditions were different, they had the best relationships that they ever had. Then they moved on to jobs, finding a partner, and establishing themselves in society. They worked hard but somehow, without realizing it, through all the moves they lost an important part of their lives. Is it possible to have those kind of relationships again?
Yes, it is possible to be part of a group of men that are equals, and that challenge, support and guide you. Men who are simply friends without any other agenda. Many men are part of small independent men’s groups, -some formal and some casual. Is being part of a group, which is uniquely tailored for you, something to consider?